My Name
by Sahrah Marmlade-Leonhart
Summary: I don't know the name my parents gave me, and without it, they are gone forever. I am named for the weapon of someone important to me. I am named for two eidolons and a crystal that sparkles like fire. That is what my name means.


Ahhh, I need to stop writing stupid poetry and finish my latest project... I'm sorryyyyy! But I started playing FFIX and I fell in love with Dagger and Zidane and Vivi and AWW IT'S SO CUTE. SO THIS IS HERE. IT'S ABOUT DAGGER AND HER NAME AND THERE ARE SPOILERS. SO HA.

* * *

_My name is Garnet til Alexandros 17th._  
I was named for the precious stone  
The red gem that sparkles like fire  
The beautiful crystal that is used to call upon _him_.  
He is the great dragon that protects the innocent,  
The mighty beast that sails the skies and directs the heavens.

I am also named for the guardian of my home  
The benevolent eidolon that lends his name  
Not only to me,  
But to my kingdom.  
_My home._  
The place I love and cherish.

I am the eighteenth woman to bear this name  
The first sixteen were rulers  
Powerful and intelligent and courageous women  
Who led our armies to victory  
Our home to peace and good fortune.  
The seventeenth never grew to be a strong ruler  
She had passed on before her seventh birthday  
Never again to laugh or sing or read or dream.  
_I am not only named for her,  
But I was forced to become her  
Because her face was the same as mine._  
My name is Garnet til Alexandros 17th,  
And that is what my name means.

--

_My name is Dagger._  
I have no last name,  
Because my name is _fake._  
I was named after the weapon of someone dear to me.  
Like a dagger, I intended to be  
Sharp, quick, dangerous, and untouchable.  
But I often would find myself stumbling  
A wonderful weapon in the hands of an untrained warrior  
In need of sharpening and shining.  
The man whose weapon named me  
He gave me courage  
He gave me strength  
He gave me a voice.  
I am called by this name because I have to hide.  
I am called by this name because it is too dangerous  
To run around with my "real" name  
Still attached to me like a target on my back.

I am called by this name because  
_I'm meant to become nobody  
I'm meant to fade into the abyss  
Once I have filled this purpose._  
Like a knife replaced once it is rusted and bent,  
My name, and the identity that comes with it  
Is meant to disappear when the battle ends.

_But still I hear him call me  
By this name_  
And I smile  
Because more and more I'd like to think that  
He who never throws away his weapons  
Who respects them and cares for them  
Would give me the same respect.  
At first, he made no sense,  
And I didn't trust him.  
But I still titled myself after his blade,  
And that is what my name means.

--

_I do not know my own name._  
I know that when I was very small, I lived here  
In the village of people who could call out  
And their words would be heard by eidolons,  
The magnificent, incredible creatures of legend and power.  
I know that, until the day this place was destroyed,  
People would call my name and I would turn to answer.  
Maybe they were my parents.  
I don't remember.  
I learned about the creatures whose power I could borrow  
And I was so glad to know that I would never be alone.  
But then I was alone, because my home was gone,  
_Gone, like my family  
Like my hope  
Like my identity._  
I am an orphan of the village of summoners.  
I do not have a name.  
I am scared because I can't remember who I am  
_I am scared because maybe I'm no one.  
I am scared because  
I don't know the name my parents gave me,  
And without it,  
They are gone forever._  
That is what it means to be nameless.

--

_My name is Dagger._  
With this identity, I survived my mother's death  
And became a queen.  
And I thought that was all.  
I didn't need to be "Dagger" anymore,  
And I threw away this name.  
_And then it was gone_

--

_My name is Garnet til Alexandros 17th_.  
I am the defeated queen of a ruined kingdom  
And I have failed to protect my home.  
I thought I could be "Garnet".  
But when my world was torn apart before my eyes  
This name that I had taken back had failed me.  
The name "Garnet" became a meaningless word  
_And then I was called Dagger again_.  
But I felt like the nameless orphan that no one remembered,  
Crumbling in the dust of another broken home.

--

_My name is Dagger._  
For a while, I got scared, and my voice flew away.  
And still this is what he called.  
He called for me and believed in me.  
_"Dagger, Dagger, Dagger."_  
He called for me.  
And I couldn't answer, because my voice had left me.  
So I went to find it,  
And soon after he came to find me.

I used his weapon  
_My namesake_  
To cut my hair.  
I had to get rid of the old "Garnet"  
To become a better "Dagger".  
I had to throw away the things of my past that I couldn't change  
And to learn about the future that belonged to me.  
Then, like a weapon in the masterful hands of a soldier,  
I grew to be more dangerous, skilled, and brave.  
I could finally protect the people I cared for the most,  
That is the gift he gave me.  
My name is Dagger,  
And that is what my name means.

--

My name is Sarah.  
It was written on the Eidolon Wall in my former home,  
The place where I was born.  
The man whose weapon named me  
Found a message scratched into the ancient wall.  
My father wrote it,  
And that is the name he called me.  
My father had survived the attack on my former home,

But he was badly hurt.  
Somehow he had made his way to the wall.  
And he wrote a letter to myself and to my mother.  
_And he told me that he loved me  
And that I made his life beautiful._

I do not know who or what I was named for.  
I do not know my father's name.  
I do not know my last name.  
I do not know if my mother was beautiful.  
I do not know if I had any brothers or sisters  
Aunts or uncles  
Cousins or nephews.  
I do not know if I've ever met my grandparents  
And I do not know what my parents looked like.

I don't know these things, and perhaps I never will.  
But I do know  
That I am loved  
And that I was destined to be the person  
That I have become.  
I know that the name I was given at birth has a special meaning.  
_The name "Sarah" means "princess."_

I am Sarah

The princess.

The runaway.

The orphan.

The summoner.

The guardian.  
_My name is Sarah.  
This is what my name means._


End file.
